Top Ten Things I Learned on My Summer Vacation

1.  Adults don’t really get a summer vacation, and I was silly to ever tell my mom and dad I was “bored” on summer vacation during school.  I miss summer vacation.  And summer vacation when you are “retired” isn’t going to be as much fun since you have to take naps and rest a lot since you are old.  Oh wait – that actually sounds like heaven.

2.  Renting out your house and buying a new one only one week after sinus surgery is not the most well thought out plan.  Never in my life have I been so grateful for my rock star parents who came up to help us wrangle the kid and listen to me whine.  And whine.  And whine some more.

3.  Not that I didn’t already know this but I am the worst patient in the world.  Oh, and Vicodin makes me hurl.  Oh, and hurling is UBER fun when your nose is packed full of gauze and stitches.

4.  Buying a house with all of the mortgage industry changes after the financial crisis of 2008 is enough to cause a non-cryer like myself to pull over onto the side of the road one afternoon on her way home from work and scream and cry at her mortgage broker.  There may have been cursing – I don’t remember as I blacked out from my rage.

5.  Buying a new car because your other one has a bajillion and a half miles on it one month after you purchase a new house can cause panic-induced hives to break out at random times during the ensuing weeks.

6.  That me + a puppy adopt-a-thon is going to = a new puppy at our house.

7.  Not only do puppies eat a lot, they do not really discriminate on what they do eat.  Shoes, paper, books, an entire bedroom including half the door and the blinds on the window when you leave them out of their kennel in the spare bedroom just to “see how they will do” while you are gone for a couple of hours.

8.  Some people can’t ever be happy for the good fortune of others; even if such good fortune is the product of hard work.  Instead they have to act petty and jealous, kind of like I did when Rosario Dawson got to be in a river with a shirtless Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in the movie The Rundown.  These people SUCK as friends (yeah Rosario – you and me are never going to be BFFs)…if they ever even were your friends.

9.  That before you become a parent you think your kid would NEVER be “that kid” on an airplane; you know, the one screaming, crying, whining and just being a pain in the ass in general.  You look judgmentally at the parents of such children and think – “Ha, my child will NEVER act like that.”  And then you become the parent of that kid.  My meal of crow and humble pie was quite tasty

10.  That I’m the world’s most intermittent blogger.  I’m going to work to change that…